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For my entire life I have been, what I perceived myself to be, the disappointing caboose to a train of seemingly perfect sisters. My sisters are both exceptionally beautiful, smart, talented and passionate women. In fact their passion is what amazes me most. They are both so driven to succeed at what they love to do; I don't think, until recently at least, I ever realized that it was even possible to find such passion.
Needless to say, for most of my life I found the comparison between my sisters and myself to be rather disappointing. I was always the awkward, annoying, under-developed one. I sucked my thumb well past the acceptable age, I wet my bed far into my elementary school days, at age eleven my parents finally forced me to start going to public bathrooms on my own and ordering my own dinner at restaurants. My teeth were always crooked, my social life consumed my school work, and my talents were mediocre at best.
There was NOTHING exceptional about me. Or at least to me it seemed that way.
It's taken me eighteen long, vicious years to look in the mirror and recognize that I may not be my sisters, but that doesn't mean I'm less of a person because of that. I spent so much time failing at trying to be like them that I missed my transition into a young woman. I missed when awkward became beautiful. I missed the fact that even awkward was beautiful. I didn't realize that I had a drive to learn and succeed and that I could do well if I tried. My annoying personality has matured into a somewhat humorous one, and I greet everyone around me with at least a welcoming smile, if not than a wave or even a "Hi!".
That's quite a bit of wasted time and experiences I missed out on, but I am aware now that I am beautiful in my own unique way. Everyone has some of that. It's called inherent beauty.
I really truly wish with my whole heart that I was alone in this battle.
But unfortunately, I know otherwise.


In elementary school my best friend was African American. To be honest, I hardly even noticed her dark skin in comparison to my light pale skin. One day on the play ground, another girl got very angry with us and referred to my friend using the "N" word. At the time I had no idea what the word meant, I only knew that it was offensive from the way the tears welled up in my friend's eyes. Looking back on it now, I realize how much that impacted her, even at a young age. I couldn't imagine going through life being judged based on the color of my skin. It's like the color of your natural hair. You don't choose it at birth. Yet we can judge someone based on this?

Now as I am growing older I am meeting so many different types of people. I am aware of the differences in everyone, not because naturally I pick them out myself, but because anyone who is even slightly different is pointed out and condemned in our society. Even as we enter into adulthood I am aware of how another person's cruelty can affect those around me.

Seeing those that struggle due to the criticism based on their sexuality is incredibly frustrating to me. It's not a lifestyle that is chosen. In fact, I'm sure at some point many people who diverge from the heterosexual orientation have wished that they could choose to be "straight". Again, like hair color, you don't CHOOSE to be one way or the other. Yet others feel that they can judge them for that.
Gay, straight, queer, trans gender, WHATEVER THEY ARE, at least they know HOW to love. At least they can show compassion for others. At least they have passion. Love is love. There's no way at all to say one way is right and the other is wrong or even that one is better than the other. THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE. It is love no matter what way you look at it. And if you have so much blind hatred in your heart that you feel as if you have the right to judge someone for that, well I guess that's proof that maybe there's something cruel and unusual about you. Love is love.

These are the experiences in life that slowly but surely are killing me.
I am aware of how others are hurt by this. Other people who simply just choose to live happily are hated by other people for being different and in turn begin to hate themselves. There is no justice in that.
What makes these situations even worse is that this hatred that grows will never leave someone once it has found its way there. It will grow and pester that person, and eventually when they have younger siblings or children of their own, they will pass this self-hatred down to them. It's a cruel cycle.

Everyone has something uniquely their own that makes them incredible. We may not see it right away, but its important that we as people choose not to judge them negatively for their differences, but instead find their inherent beauty and build them up for that. When we are too focused on ostracizing someone for their differences, a hatred that could last a lifetime is created.

We need to stop self-loathing. It is time that we find our own inherent beauty and share it with those around us. We need to find a way to help each other to find the unique person they are. To love them for that. To love ourselves.

It doesn't matter who you are really. Your race, age, gender, religion, background: none of that can hinder who you are. In fact that may even add to your beauty. But you most surely cannot allow that to burden you. It's not about your physical beauty necessarily. It's much more than that too. It's ALL of your beauty. Because we all have some. It's time we find it.

Don't feel as if your age will prohibit you from feeling connected to this call to action. Adults are just as affected as young children are. I'm not asking for money or financial contributions. I'm asking that we together find a way to help others and ourselves by loving each other and not expecting anything in return. If we do this, slowly but surely, we can help everyone to find their inherent beauty. There's really no limits or borders to love and beauty. It's in all of us.