I recently moved onto campus as a college freshman and its already turning out to be fun and exciting and quite fulfilling of my very high expectations. I meet new people in every new building I walk in and I feel like there's so much potential waiting for me here.
But then as I was walking up my dorm stairs today, I realized that perhaps I've been doing exactly what I've warned everyone else not to do.
I normally am a nice person. Especially around new people. And I couldn't imagine saying mean things about people I truly don't know all that much about. I wouldn't want people to do that to me, so what gives me the right to do that to anyone else?
But of course, on my fourth day on campus, I can hear words and thoughts popping into my head about people that prove the complete opposite.
I've spent more time in the last couple of days comparing myself to other people, wondering why people act the way they do, and turning to a hatred inside of me that I wasn't even aware existed, than ANY other time in my life.
I want everyone to know: I understand that this is difficult. WE ALL COMPARE OURSELVES TO SOMEONE ELSE. Sometimes we say mean things.
As my actions are proof, even I am guilty of doing that. But the important thing for all of us now is to admit that we do this and work to change it.
In my CIE class we discussed the idea of realizing that there is a world around us that is filled with different types of people. Then we become split into two groups: Those who see the differences and choose to accept, support, and even be a part of these other lifestyles, and those who choose to remain steadfast in their own somewhat narrow minded ways.
I want us as a group to be the ones to stand up and support the differences around us. I want us to help others to see what it is to love others for their differences and their beauty instead of hating them.
I know that in order for anyone else to believe in this, I have to first believe in it. So I am telling you now, I whole heartedly am taking the step to love instead of hate; to look for everyones inherent beauty and remind others that its okay to be different. We're all different. Without differences beauty would not exist.
Please, take the step with me. We're all human; none of us are perfect. If you have been guilty of this hatred recently, don't remain focused on it. That does not define us. Learn from this and move forward. Because you are not alone.
None of you are.
You are all beautiful. I do believe that. I do honestly and whole heartedly believe that every one has their own beauty, unique to themselves. I hope you all believe that about yourselves too. Be confident and love one another.
Without your love and support, I wouldn't feel so strongly about standing up to fight this battle.
Spread love. Keep the search for beauty alive. Thank you.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Mean Girls. Mean Boys. Mean.
"Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George's life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you."
Mean Girls is an amusing, witty comedy. For most who watch it, its easy to laugh at the jokes and play along with the sometimes slightly skewed, other times dead-on representation of high schools and teenage "social status".
But then again, maybe there's something more.
Consider the introductory quote to this post. We, almost naturally, compare ourselves to those around us. Sometimes in envy, we notice the way that girl's body doesn't have an ounce of fat, or that boy's hair hangs perfectly around his face, or how nice of a car that boy drove, or how large her house is, the list is endless. Other times, we look at someone next to us and think, well at least I'm better looking than THEM.
There's cool people, smart people, religious people, rich people, poor people, nerds, jocks, artsy people, quiet people, obnoxious people, class clowns, musical people: we categorize ourselves, socially rank ourselves, and force one another to live according to these limits. They're like standards that we must meet, labels and cliques that we can rate each other off of. Abide by them to your best ability or risk being judged, criticized, ostracized.
If you're not one, you have to be the other. And if you are one, you'll WANT to be the other.
We constantly compare ourselves to others, if not putting ourselves down then putting others down to build ourselves up.
I'm not saying that I'm not guilty of doing this. I do it all the time. But what has truly occurred to me in a rather serious manner: IT DOESN'T MATTER IF THEY HAVE WHAT YOU DON'T OR IF YOU HAVE WHAT THEY DON'T; YOU ARE YOU, NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE.
We all seem to be under the impression that if we hate ourselves a little more because someone else is better, or if we hate them a little more to feel better about ourselves, we'll live happily.
Unfortunately, that's not healthy or true happiness. Loving yourselves isn't about what makes you better than someone else. Loving yourself is finding your strength, something you do well and feel passion for, and building that. Knowing that while you may have weaknesses, you are still beautiful -- whether it be a physical beauty, a mental beauty, an ethnic or religious beauty, ALL OF US HAVE BEAUTY -- And loving yourself for that.
Be confident. Hold your chin up when you walk down the street. Smile at someone. Laugh. Loudly and freely, and don't stop for a second to wonder what someone else thinks. Don't stop and try to compare yourself to someone else. Be happy in the skin you're in. Love yourself. Trust yourself.
Love others. It's impossible to do until you love yourself, but once you realize you too have inherent beauty, it won't be too difficult. You'd be surprised at how strongly love can consume you if you allow it the opportunity. Don't put someone else down, because in actuality, it doesn't make you a better person than them. In fact it doesn't change who YOU are at all. Love them. Because they deserve love. We all do. Love them because they too struggle with this. Love because we all have some beauty. You just need to take the time to find it.
This isn't a concept that only lasts through high school, even though the movie that this quote came from only takes place in a high school setting, they too take time to show how putting someone else down can effect adults as well as children and teenagers.
While bullying can last a lifetime, so can love. Love can be the reason someone decides to stick around instead of hurting themselves. Love can be a memory that helps to get through the difficult periods. Love can be shared with one person and spread to everyone else around them, until eventually the love truly surrounds us.
We all can love. We do love. But we need to learn to turn to this love before we allow hatred and judgments to fuel our thoughts.
Spread the word: You ARE beautiful. Share your love. And don't ever, EVER, give up hope. We are here together through this battle. We won't give up. I promise this.
Thank you for continuing to support us.
Mean Girls is an amusing, witty comedy. For most who watch it, its easy to laugh at the jokes and play along with the sometimes slightly skewed, other times dead-on representation of high schools and teenage "social status".
But then again, maybe there's something more.
Consider the introductory quote to this post. We, almost naturally, compare ourselves to those around us. Sometimes in envy, we notice the way that girl's body doesn't have an ounce of fat, or that boy's hair hangs perfectly around his face, or how nice of a car that boy drove, or how large her house is, the list is endless. Other times, we look at someone next to us and think, well at least I'm better looking than THEM.
There's cool people, smart people, religious people, rich people, poor people, nerds, jocks, artsy people, quiet people, obnoxious people, class clowns, musical people: we categorize ourselves, socially rank ourselves, and force one another to live according to these limits. They're like standards that we must meet, labels and cliques that we can rate each other off of. Abide by them to your best ability or risk being judged, criticized, ostracized.
If you're not one, you have to be the other. And if you are one, you'll WANT to be the other.
We constantly compare ourselves to others, if not putting ourselves down then putting others down to build ourselves up.
I'm not saying that I'm not guilty of doing this. I do it all the time. But what has truly occurred to me in a rather serious manner: IT DOESN'T MATTER IF THEY HAVE WHAT YOU DON'T OR IF YOU HAVE WHAT THEY DON'T; YOU ARE YOU, NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE.
We all seem to be under the impression that if we hate ourselves a little more because someone else is better, or if we hate them a little more to feel better about ourselves, we'll live happily.
Unfortunately, that's not healthy or true happiness. Loving yourselves isn't about what makes you better than someone else. Loving yourself is finding your strength, something you do well and feel passion for, and building that. Knowing that while you may have weaknesses, you are still beautiful -- whether it be a physical beauty, a mental beauty, an ethnic or religious beauty, ALL OF US HAVE BEAUTY -- And loving yourself for that.
Be confident. Hold your chin up when you walk down the street. Smile at someone. Laugh. Loudly and freely, and don't stop for a second to wonder what someone else thinks. Don't stop and try to compare yourself to someone else. Be happy in the skin you're in. Love yourself. Trust yourself.
Love others. It's impossible to do until you love yourself, but once you realize you too have inherent beauty, it won't be too difficult. You'd be surprised at how strongly love can consume you if you allow it the opportunity. Don't put someone else down, because in actuality, it doesn't make you a better person than them. In fact it doesn't change who YOU are at all. Love them. Because they deserve love. We all do. Love them because they too struggle with this. Love because we all have some beauty. You just need to take the time to find it.
This isn't a concept that only lasts through high school, even though the movie that this quote came from only takes place in a high school setting, they too take time to show how putting someone else down can effect adults as well as children and teenagers.
While bullying can last a lifetime, so can love. Love can be the reason someone decides to stick around instead of hurting themselves. Love can be a memory that helps to get through the difficult periods. Love can be shared with one person and spread to everyone else around them, until eventually the love truly surrounds us.
We all can love. We do love. But we need to learn to turn to this love before we allow hatred and judgments to fuel our thoughts.
Spread the word: You ARE beautiful. Share your love. And don't ever, EVER, give up hope. We are here together through this battle. We won't give up. I promise this.
Thank you for continuing to support us.
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