To everyone that has supported our cause thus far:
THE WEBSITE HAS FINALLY BEEN STARTED!
skinwerein.org
Please check it out. We appreciate your support, and I just would like to reiterate the fact that NONE of this could have been possible without your support. Keep the cause alive!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
New Places. New Faces.
I recently moved onto campus as a college freshman and its already turning out to be fun and exciting and quite fulfilling of my very high expectations. I meet new people in every new building I walk in and I feel like there's so much potential waiting for me here.
But then as I was walking up my dorm stairs today, I realized that perhaps I've been doing exactly what I've warned everyone else not to do.
I normally am a nice person. Especially around new people. And I couldn't imagine saying mean things about people I truly don't know all that much about. I wouldn't want people to do that to me, so what gives me the right to do that to anyone else?
But of course, on my fourth day on campus, I can hear words and thoughts popping into my head about people that prove the complete opposite.
I've spent more time in the last couple of days comparing myself to other people, wondering why people act the way they do, and turning to a hatred inside of me that I wasn't even aware existed, than ANY other time in my life.
I want everyone to know: I understand that this is difficult. WE ALL COMPARE OURSELVES TO SOMEONE ELSE. Sometimes we say mean things.
As my actions are proof, even I am guilty of doing that. But the important thing for all of us now is to admit that we do this and work to change it.
In my CIE class we discussed the idea of realizing that there is a world around us that is filled with different types of people. Then we become split into two groups: Those who see the differences and choose to accept, support, and even be a part of these other lifestyles, and those who choose to remain steadfast in their own somewhat narrow minded ways.
I want us as a group to be the ones to stand up and support the differences around us. I want us to help others to see what it is to love others for their differences and their beauty instead of hating them.
I know that in order for anyone else to believe in this, I have to first believe in it. So I am telling you now, I whole heartedly am taking the step to love instead of hate; to look for everyones inherent beauty and remind others that its okay to be different. We're all different. Without differences beauty would not exist.
Please, take the step with me. We're all human; none of us are perfect. If you have been guilty of this hatred recently, don't remain focused on it. That does not define us. Learn from this and move forward. Because you are not alone.
None of you are.
You are all beautiful. I do believe that. I do honestly and whole heartedly believe that every one has their own beauty, unique to themselves. I hope you all believe that about yourselves too. Be confident and love one another.
Without your love and support, I wouldn't feel so strongly about standing up to fight this battle.
Spread love. Keep the search for beauty alive. Thank you.
But then as I was walking up my dorm stairs today, I realized that perhaps I've been doing exactly what I've warned everyone else not to do.
I normally am a nice person. Especially around new people. And I couldn't imagine saying mean things about people I truly don't know all that much about. I wouldn't want people to do that to me, so what gives me the right to do that to anyone else?
But of course, on my fourth day on campus, I can hear words and thoughts popping into my head about people that prove the complete opposite.
I've spent more time in the last couple of days comparing myself to other people, wondering why people act the way they do, and turning to a hatred inside of me that I wasn't even aware existed, than ANY other time in my life.
I want everyone to know: I understand that this is difficult. WE ALL COMPARE OURSELVES TO SOMEONE ELSE. Sometimes we say mean things.
As my actions are proof, even I am guilty of doing that. But the important thing for all of us now is to admit that we do this and work to change it.
In my CIE class we discussed the idea of realizing that there is a world around us that is filled with different types of people. Then we become split into two groups: Those who see the differences and choose to accept, support, and even be a part of these other lifestyles, and those who choose to remain steadfast in their own somewhat narrow minded ways.
I want us as a group to be the ones to stand up and support the differences around us. I want us to help others to see what it is to love others for their differences and their beauty instead of hating them.
I know that in order for anyone else to believe in this, I have to first believe in it. So I am telling you now, I whole heartedly am taking the step to love instead of hate; to look for everyones inherent beauty and remind others that its okay to be different. We're all different. Without differences beauty would not exist.
Please, take the step with me. We're all human; none of us are perfect. If you have been guilty of this hatred recently, don't remain focused on it. That does not define us. Learn from this and move forward. Because you are not alone.
None of you are.
You are all beautiful. I do believe that. I do honestly and whole heartedly believe that every one has their own beauty, unique to themselves. I hope you all believe that about yourselves too. Be confident and love one another.
Without your love and support, I wouldn't feel so strongly about standing up to fight this battle.
Spread love. Keep the search for beauty alive. Thank you.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Mean Girls. Mean Boys. Mean.
"Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George's life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you."
Mean Girls is an amusing, witty comedy. For most who watch it, its easy to laugh at the jokes and play along with the sometimes slightly skewed, other times dead-on representation of high schools and teenage "social status".
But then again, maybe there's something more.
Consider the introductory quote to this post. We, almost naturally, compare ourselves to those around us. Sometimes in envy, we notice the way that girl's body doesn't have an ounce of fat, or that boy's hair hangs perfectly around his face, or how nice of a car that boy drove, or how large her house is, the list is endless. Other times, we look at someone next to us and think, well at least I'm better looking than THEM.
There's cool people, smart people, religious people, rich people, poor people, nerds, jocks, artsy people, quiet people, obnoxious people, class clowns, musical people: we categorize ourselves, socially rank ourselves, and force one another to live according to these limits. They're like standards that we must meet, labels and cliques that we can rate each other off of. Abide by them to your best ability or risk being judged, criticized, ostracized.
If you're not one, you have to be the other. And if you are one, you'll WANT to be the other.
We constantly compare ourselves to others, if not putting ourselves down then putting others down to build ourselves up.
I'm not saying that I'm not guilty of doing this. I do it all the time. But what has truly occurred to me in a rather serious manner: IT DOESN'T MATTER IF THEY HAVE WHAT YOU DON'T OR IF YOU HAVE WHAT THEY DON'T; YOU ARE YOU, NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE.
We all seem to be under the impression that if we hate ourselves a little more because someone else is better, or if we hate them a little more to feel better about ourselves, we'll live happily.
Unfortunately, that's not healthy or true happiness. Loving yourselves isn't about what makes you better than someone else. Loving yourself is finding your strength, something you do well and feel passion for, and building that. Knowing that while you may have weaknesses, you are still beautiful -- whether it be a physical beauty, a mental beauty, an ethnic or religious beauty, ALL OF US HAVE BEAUTY -- And loving yourself for that.
Be confident. Hold your chin up when you walk down the street. Smile at someone. Laugh. Loudly and freely, and don't stop for a second to wonder what someone else thinks. Don't stop and try to compare yourself to someone else. Be happy in the skin you're in. Love yourself. Trust yourself.
Love others. It's impossible to do until you love yourself, but once you realize you too have inherent beauty, it won't be too difficult. You'd be surprised at how strongly love can consume you if you allow it the opportunity. Don't put someone else down, because in actuality, it doesn't make you a better person than them. In fact it doesn't change who YOU are at all. Love them. Because they deserve love. We all do. Love them because they too struggle with this. Love because we all have some beauty. You just need to take the time to find it.
This isn't a concept that only lasts through high school, even though the movie that this quote came from only takes place in a high school setting, they too take time to show how putting someone else down can effect adults as well as children and teenagers.
While bullying can last a lifetime, so can love. Love can be the reason someone decides to stick around instead of hurting themselves. Love can be a memory that helps to get through the difficult periods. Love can be shared with one person and spread to everyone else around them, until eventually the love truly surrounds us.
We all can love. We do love. But we need to learn to turn to this love before we allow hatred and judgments to fuel our thoughts.
Spread the word: You ARE beautiful. Share your love. And don't ever, EVER, give up hope. We are here together through this battle. We won't give up. I promise this.
Thank you for continuing to support us.
Mean Girls is an amusing, witty comedy. For most who watch it, its easy to laugh at the jokes and play along with the sometimes slightly skewed, other times dead-on representation of high schools and teenage "social status".
But then again, maybe there's something more.
Consider the introductory quote to this post. We, almost naturally, compare ourselves to those around us. Sometimes in envy, we notice the way that girl's body doesn't have an ounce of fat, or that boy's hair hangs perfectly around his face, or how nice of a car that boy drove, or how large her house is, the list is endless. Other times, we look at someone next to us and think, well at least I'm better looking than THEM.
There's cool people, smart people, religious people, rich people, poor people, nerds, jocks, artsy people, quiet people, obnoxious people, class clowns, musical people: we categorize ourselves, socially rank ourselves, and force one another to live according to these limits. They're like standards that we must meet, labels and cliques that we can rate each other off of. Abide by them to your best ability or risk being judged, criticized, ostracized.
If you're not one, you have to be the other. And if you are one, you'll WANT to be the other.
We constantly compare ourselves to others, if not putting ourselves down then putting others down to build ourselves up.
I'm not saying that I'm not guilty of doing this. I do it all the time. But what has truly occurred to me in a rather serious manner: IT DOESN'T MATTER IF THEY HAVE WHAT YOU DON'T OR IF YOU HAVE WHAT THEY DON'T; YOU ARE YOU, NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE.
We all seem to be under the impression that if we hate ourselves a little more because someone else is better, or if we hate them a little more to feel better about ourselves, we'll live happily.
Unfortunately, that's not healthy or true happiness. Loving yourselves isn't about what makes you better than someone else. Loving yourself is finding your strength, something you do well and feel passion for, and building that. Knowing that while you may have weaknesses, you are still beautiful -- whether it be a physical beauty, a mental beauty, an ethnic or religious beauty, ALL OF US HAVE BEAUTY -- And loving yourself for that.
Be confident. Hold your chin up when you walk down the street. Smile at someone. Laugh. Loudly and freely, and don't stop for a second to wonder what someone else thinks. Don't stop and try to compare yourself to someone else. Be happy in the skin you're in. Love yourself. Trust yourself.
Love others. It's impossible to do until you love yourself, but once you realize you too have inherent beauty, it won't be too difficult. You'd be surprised at how strongly love can consume you if you allow it the opportunity. Don't put someone else down, because in actuality, it doesn't make you a better person than them. In fact it doesn't change who YOU are at all. Love them. Because they deserve love. We all do. Love them because they too struggle with this. Love because we all have some beauty. You just need to take the time to find it.
This isn't a concept that only lasts through high school, even though the movie that this quote came from only takes place in a high school setting, they too take time to show how putting someone else down can effect adults as well as children and teenagers.
While bullying can last a lifetime, so can love. Love can be the reason someone decides to stick around instead of hurting themselves. Love can be a memory that helps to get through the difficult periods. Love can be shared with one person and spread to everyone else around them, until eventually the love truly surrounds us.
We all can love. We do love. But we need to learn to turn to this love before we allow hatred and judgments to fuel our thoughts.
Spread the word: You ARE beautiful. Share your love. And don't ever, EVER, give up hope. We are here together through this battle. We won't give up. I promise this.
Thank you for continuing to support us.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Theme for the Day...
As a continuation to our theme from early today.... We would like to share more feedback from other supporters of our cause.
We hope that everyone feels strongly enough to share their support, not only with us, but with others outside the group.
Please feel free to write us with your experiences!
And thanks to one of our most passionate supporters for these strong and encouraging words.
"I feel like I can relate... Just because I love...love and acceptance. I just think it's soooo important. And it really upsets me when people are mean to other people for their beliefs, outlooks on life, opinions, appearances, sexual preference...etc. It's just sooo important that we all accept each other"... "I think this is fantastic and truly inspiring. I think people just really truly need this sort of inspiration and love in their lives. Everyone deserves to be accepted and be able to live their lives the way they want without the fear and people holding them back with their judgments and rejection. It's no fair. We just need more love in the world..."
Thanks for your support and everyone out there who continues their search for inherent beauty. You are not alone. Continue to support one another and remind each other of how beautiful we all are.
We hope that everyone feels strongly enough to share their support, not only with us, but with others outside the group.
Please feel free to write us with your experiences!
And thanks to one of our most passionate supporters for these strong and encouraging words.
"I feel like I can relate... Just because I love...love and acceptance. I just think it's soooo important. And it really upsets me when people are mean to other people for their beliefs, outlooks on life, opinions, appearances, sexual preference...etc. It's just sooo important that we all accept each other"... "I think this is fantastic and truly inspiring. I think people just really truly need this sort of inspiration and love in their lives. Everyone deserves to be accepted and be able to live their lives the way they want without the fear and people holding them back with their judgments and rejection. It's no fair. We just need more love in the world..."
Thanks for your support and everyone out there who continues their search for inherent beauty. You are not alone. Continue to support one another and remind each other of how beautiful we all are.
What We Wish For Everyone As A Regular Morning
We recently received this letter from a supporter of Skin We're In who felt very strongly about the last post we added to our blog. We hope that you all know that the "Typical Morning" that was described is not one we believe is okay in any way, but we've all been there.
Our supporter shared with us what she feels each morning and hopes that everyone can feel in some way as well.
And we whole-heartedly agree.
Her alarm clock went off that day as it did every morning, to the sound of the Top 20 hits of the day played by a local radio station.
She moved slowly as her body began to wake up; as she stretched she smiled thinking of her friends all singing this song together a few days before. She turned her T.V. on to a music video, the kind of music video in which half naked girls shook their "junk" around to catch some rappers attention.
She watched the women, half amused half in awe of the women. Perfect bodies. Perfect faces. Perfect hair. Perfect. Although she may not fit the dancers’ mold, she knew she could shake what HER mamma gave her just as well as the rest of them.
She got up to brush her teeth before she showered just as she did everyday, went to the bathroom and undressed, taking a quick glance toward the mirror to see the body that was the perfect body, for her.
In the shower she looked down at her body. Although nothing was flat or seemed perfectly smooth the way the video girls' bodies, she loved all the curves she had. She knew that one day her mother would be right (GASP) and the hips that came about at what seemed like an earlier age than most would someday be the perfect hips for “baby carrying.” And although she did have some junk, she just wouldn’t be the same person without that booty! She thought about her friend who gives the best hugs, and knew she wouldn't be in danger of breaking in half when she was hugged that hard. And although she hadn’t found her Prince Charming just quite yet, he would find every curve of her body beautiful and perfect.
She walked back into her bedroom. She turned the T.V. back on so that she could listen to the music in the background, and maybe even sing along (she didn’t even care if someone noticed she was a little off key). The girl picked out an outfit that complimented her body type. She pulled on her favorite pair of jeans (which unlike the girls in the video, were not a size 0). After putting them on she stood back to look in the mirror, even turning around to see how good her butt looked in them! She grinned with satisfaction and found a cute top to match. The girl continued her morning routine as she put mascara on – her favorite make-up item, because it made her beautiful eyes stand out much more. A little lip gloss and she was ready to go.
She felt good for about the way she looked and had a confident air about her. She knew she was beautiful both inside and out. Intelligent. Beautiful. Confident. Unique. Strong. She had nothing left to do but go forth and conquer the day; she knew she was destined for big things.
Just a typical morning.
It really upsets me that anyone would wake up having a "typical" morning as you described in the blog. Every person needs to embrace who they are, perfect or not, size 0 or not, because without the confidence it's hard to put on the front that you think you're even any where near perfect or beautiful. And even if somehow that girl was able to put on a front that she "thought" she was beautiful, soon enough it will just become an act that everyone will see through.
I'm not, by any means, a size 0. But my typical morning is much more like the strong, confident girl than the girl who wakes up every morning thinking she is lame and ugly. Sure, there are things about my body that I don't necessarily like, but the wonderful thing is, no one else in the world has MY body. And I won't lie, there isn't a morning I don't get undressed and take a glance in the mirror - my body is my own, it's unique, and I love all the curves I have (and I too hope to find someone someday that loves all them just as much, BUT I do not need someone to validate that MY curves are beautiful).
I have been (awkwardly) told by a coworker out at the bar one night that I have junk in my trunk, and yeah...I do. But ya know what? I also think I have a great butt...and wouldn't trade it for anything! And my mom has probably told me since I was 10 that I can't wear white pants because I'll look like a movie screen and that I have big hips - but I own white pants and I wear them with confidence. And someday, I know I'll give a baby a nice place to stay for 9 months with my baby carrying hips! Aside from physical appearance, I know I have the intelligence to go far, and I know so many other people of all shapes, sizes, skin colors, and genders that will do the same...who wants a world full of all the same people? It just wouldn't work.
I take a class at the gym called Zumba. The first time I went I thought I was being punked. I'm sure I look like an idiot shimmying and shaking my hips all around, but the class has helped me with more than just getting into better shape. One of the greatest parts about the class is that just about everyone can do it, and everyone looks different doing it, but that's not a bad thing. I think your group embraces that. It takes a LOT of people to make the world go 'round, we all can't be clones, life would be so boring.
Thank you to the author of this letter. Your words were very much appreciated. Keep your strength alive and continue to share your beauty with the world.
Our supporter shared with us what she feels each morning and hopes that everyone can feel in some way as well.
And we whole-heartedly agree.
Her alarm clock went off that day as it did every morning, to the sound of the Top 20 hits of the day played by a local radio station.
She moved slowly as her body began to wake up; as she stretched she smiled thinking of her friends all singing this song together a few days before. She turned her T.V. on to a music video, the kind of music video in which half naked girls shook their "junk" around to catch some rappers attention.
She watched the women, half amused half in awe of the women. Perfect bodies. Perfect faces. Perfect hair. Perfect. Although she may not fit the dancers’ mold, she knew she could shake what HER mamma gave her just as well as the rest of them.
She got up to brush her teeth before she showered just as she did everyday, went to the bathroom and undressed, taking a quick glance toward the mirror to see the body that was the perfect body, for her.
In the shower she looked down at her body. Although nothing was flat or seemed perfectly smooth the way the video girls' bodies, she loved all the curves she had. She knew that one day her mother would be right (GASP) and the hips that came about at what seemed like an earlier age than most would someday be the perfect hips for “baby carrying.” And although she did have some junk, she just wouldn’t be the same person without that booty! She thought about her friend who gives the best hugs, and knew she wouldn't be in danger of breaking in half when she was hugged that hard. And although she hadn’t found her Prince Charming just quite yet, he would find every curve of her body beautiful and perfect.
She walked back into her bedroom. She turned the T.V. back on so that she could listen to the music in the background, and maybe even sing along (she didn’t even care if someone noticed she was a little off key). The girl picked out an outfit that complimented her body type. She pulled on her favorite pair of jeans (which unlike the girls in the video, were not a size 0). After putting them on she stood back to look in the mirror, even turning around to see how good her butt looked in them! She grinned with satisfaction and found a cute top to match. The girl continued her morning routine as she put mascara on – her favorite make-up item, because it made her beautiful eyes stand out much more. A little lip gloss and she was ready to go.
She felt good for about the way she looked and had a confident air about her. She knew she was beautiful both inside and out. Intelligent. Beautiful. Confident. Unique. Strong. She had nothing left to do but go forth and conquer the day; she knew she was destined for big things.
Just a typical morning.
It really upsets me that anyone would wake up having a "typical" morning as you described in the blog. Every person needs to embrace who they are, perfect or not, size 0 or not, because without the confidence it's hard to put on the front that you think you're even any where near perfect or beautiful. And even if somehow that girl was able to put on a front that she "thought" she was beautiful, soon enough it will just become an act that everyone will see through.
I'm not, by any means, a size 0. But my typical morning is much more like the strong, confident girl than the girl who wakes up every morning thinking she is lame and ugly. Sure, there are things about my body that I don't necessarily like, but the wonderful thing is, no one else in the world has MY body. And I won't lie, there isn't a morning I don't get undressed and take a glance in the mirror - my body is my own, it's unique, and I love all the curves I have (and I too hope to find someone someday that loves all them just as much, BUT I do not need someone to validate that MY curves are beautiful).
I have been (awkwardly) told by a coworker out at the bar one night that I have junk in my trunk, and yeah...I do. But ya know what? I also think I have a great butt...and wouldn't trade it for anything! And my mom has probably told me since I was 10 that I can't wear white pants because I'll look like a movie screen and that I have big hips - but I own white pants and I wear them with confidence. And someday, I know I'll give a baby a nice place to stay for 9 months with my baby carrying hips! Aside from physical appearance, I know I have the intelligence to go far, and I know so many other people of all shapes, sizes, skin colors, and genders that will do the same...who wants a world full of all the same people? It just wouldn't work.
I take a class at the gym called Zumba. The first time I went I thought I was being punked. I'm sure I look like an idiot shimmying and shaking my hips all around, but the class has helped me with more than just getting into better shape. One of the greatest parts about the class is that just about everyone can do it, and everyone looks different doing it, but that's not a bad thing. I think your group embraces that. It takes a LOT of people to make the world go 'round, we all can't be clones, life would be so boring.
Thank you to the author of this letter. Your words were very much appreciated. Keep your strength alive and continue to share your beauty with the world.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Typical Morning
Her alarm clock went off that day as it did every morning, to the sound of the Top 20 hits of the day played by a local radio station.
She moved slowly as her body began to wake up; she rolled over, stretching her muscles until she felt sure she would be strong enough to sit up. She turned her T.V. on to a music video, the kind of music video in which half naked girls shook their "junk" around to catch some rappers attention.
She watched the women, half amused half in awe of the women. Perfect bodies. Perfect faces. Perfect hair. Perfect.
She thought about getting up to go brush her teeth before she showered, but decided against it, knowing that she would then risk seeing herself in the mirror at such an early hour. She turned the T.V. off and walked to the bathroom, only looking straight ahead at the shower, not allowing her eyes to wander to the reflection next to her.
In the shower she looked down at her body. Nothing was flat, nothing seemed perfectly smooth the way the video girls' bodies did, and what was flat wasn't meant to be flat. She looked down at her thighs, a part of her body she had always attempted to hide, sighing in disgust as she turned her attention back to the shampoo.
Walking out of the shower, she finally took the chance and looked in the mirror. She regretted this decision almost instantaneously. As she stared at her nose, she thought of the way the kids at school had teased her. She ran her finger along the bump that had made her the victim of so many cruel jokes. She could even still hear the way they had laughed at her as she had tripped, wincing as the memory floated through her mind.
She walked back into her bedroom. She turned the T.V. back on so that she could listen to the music in the background, this time not allowing herself to look too closely at what images played across the screen. She wrapped herself in a robe and stood in front of her mirror.
She considered not putting make up on that day, then without meaning to, glanced at the T.V. A perfect size O girl ran and jumped into a sports car, driving off into the valley of California. Her hair blew in the wind, but in a way that made her look so naturally perfect, the girl could not keep her eyes off the television screen.
She turned around and began to put the first layer of foundation on. An hour later the girl had finished her hair and makeup. She gave herself a last check in the mirror. Disappointed with her hair she avoided looking too far upwards. Her face had become a whole different human being than the one she had seen when she stepped out of the shower. Her nose looked smaller, or at least she imagined it did. Her clothes were layers and patterned to hide the body which she detested so much.
She felt good for a second, but not long enough to begin the day on a positive note. She would never let herself forget the hideous monster she believed she was, both on the outside and more so on the inside. Lame. Ugly. Stupid. Awkward. Annoying. Obnoxious.
And what better way to start the day?
Just a typical morning.
She moved slowly as her body began to wake up; she rolled over, stretching her muscles until she felt sure she would be strong enough to sit up. She turned her T.V. on to a music video, the kind of music video in which half naked girls shook their "junk" around to catch some rappers attention.
She watched the women, half amused half in awe of the women. Perfect bodies. Perfect faces. Perfect hair. Perfect.
She thought about getting up to go brush her teeth before she showered, but decided against it, knowing that she would then risk seeing herself in the mirror at such an early hour. She turned the T.V. off and walked to the bathroom, only looking straight ahead at the shower, not allowing her eyes to wander to the reflection next to her.
In the shower she looked down at her body. Nothing was flat, nothing seemed perfectly smooth the way the video girls' bodies did, and what was flat wasn't meant to be flat. She looked down at her thighs, a part of her body she had always attempted to hide, sighing in disgust as she turned her attention back to the shampoo.
Walking out of the shower, she finally took the chance and looked in the mirror. She regretted this decision almost instantaneously. As she stared at her nose, she thought of the way the kids at school had teased her. She ran her finger along the bump that had made her the victim of so many cruel jokes. She could even still hear the way they had laughed at her as she had tripped, wincing as the memory floated through her mind.
She walked back into her bedroom. She turned the T.V. back on so that she could listen to the music in the background, this time not allowing herself to look too closely at what images played across the screen. She wrapped herself in a robe and stood in front of her mirror.
She considered not putting make up on that day, then without meaning to, glanced at the T.V. A perfect size O girl ran and jumped into a sports car, driving off into the valley of California. Her hair blew in the wind, but in a way that made her look so naturally perfect, the girl could not keep her eyes off the television screen.
She turned around and began to put the first layer of foundation on. An hour later the girl had finished her hair and makeup. She gave herself a last check in the mirror. Disappointed with her hair she avoided looking too far upwards. Her face had become a whole different human being than the one she had seen when she stepped out of the shower. Her nose looked smaller, or at least she imagined it did. Her clothes were layers and patterned to hide the body which she detested so much.
She felt good for a second, but not long enough to begin the day on a positive note. She would never let herself forget the hideous monster she believed she was, both on the outside and more so on the inside. Lame. Ugly. Stupid. Awkward. Annoying. Obnoxious.
And what better way to start the day?
Just a typical morning.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Welcome!
For my entire life I have been, what I perceived myself to be, the disappointing caboose to a train of seemingly perfect sisters. My sisters are both exceptionally beautiful, smart, talented and passionate women. In fact their passion is what amazes me most. They are both so driven to succeed at what they love to do; I don't think, until recently at least, I ever realized that it was even possible to find such passion.
Needless to say, for most of my life I found the comparison between my sisters and myself to be rather disappointing. I was always the awkward, annoying, under-developed one. I sucked my thumb well past the acceptable age, I wet my bed far into my elementary school days, at age eleven my parents finally forced me to start going to public bathrooms on my own and ordering my own dinner at restaurants. My teeth were always crooked, my social life consumed my school work, and my talents were mediocre at best.
There was NOTHING exceptional about me. Or at least to me it seemed that way.
It's taken me eighteen long, vicious years to look in the mirror and recognize that I may not be my sisters, but that doesn't mean I'm less of a person because of that. I spent so much time failing at trying to be like them that I missed my transition into a young woman. I missed when awkward became beautiful. I missed the fact that even awkward was beautiful. I didn't realize that I had a drive to learn and succeed and that I could do well if I tried. My annoying personality has matured into a somewhat humorous one, and I greet everyone around me with at least a welcoming smile, if not than a wave or even a "Hi!".
That's quite a bit of wasted time and experiences I missed out on, but I am aware now that I am beautiful in my own unique way. Everyone has some of that. It's called inherent beauty.
I really truly wish with my whole heart that I was alone in this battle.
But unfortunately, I know otherwise.
In elementary school my best friend was African American. To be honest, I hardly even noticed her dark skin in comparison to my light pale skin. One day on the play ground, another girl got very angry with us and referred to my friend using the "N" word. At the time I had no idea what the word meant, I only knew that it was offensive from the way the tears welled up in my friend's eyes. Looking back on it now, I realize how much that impacted her, even at a young age. I couldn't imagine going through life being judged based on the color of my skin. It's like the color of your natural hair. You don't choose it at birth. Yet we can judge someone based on this?
Now as I am growing older I am meeting so many different types of people. I am aware of the differences in everyone, not because naturally I pick them out myself, but because anyone who is even slightly different is pointed out and condemned in our society. Even as we enter into adulthood I am aware of how another person's cruelty can affect those around me.
Seeing those that struggle due to the criticism based on their sexuality is incredibly frustrating to me. It's not a lifestyle that is chosen. In fact, I'm sure at some point many people who diverge from the heterosexual orientation have wished that they could choose to be "straight". Again, like hair color, you don't CHOOSE to be one way or the other. Yet others feel that they can judge them for that.
Gay, straight, queer, trans gender, WHATEVER THEY ARE, at least they know HOW to love. At least they can show compassion for others. At least they have passion. Love is love. There's no way at all to say one way is right and the other is wrong or even that one is better than the other. THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE. It is love no matter what way you look at it. And if you have so much blind hatred in your heart that you feel as if you have the right to judge someone for that, well I guess that's proof that maybe there's something cruel and unusual about you. Love is love.
These are the experiences in life that slowly but surely are killing me.
I am aware of how others are hurt by this. Other people who simply just choose to live happily are hated by other people for being different and in turn begin to hate themselves. There is no justice in that.
What makes these situations even worse is that this hatred that grows will never leave someone once it has found its way there. It will grow and pester that person, and eventually when they have younger siblings or children of their own, they will pass this self-hatred down to them. It's a cruel cycle.
Everyone has something uniquely their own that makes them incredible. We may not see it right away, but its important that we as people choose not to judge them negatively for their differences, but instead find their inherent beauty and build them up for that. When we are too focused on ostracizing someone for their differences, a hatred that could last a lifetime is created.
We need to stop self-loathing. It is time that we find our own inherent beauty and share it with those around us. We need to find a way to help each other to find the unique person they are. To love them for that. To love ourselves.
It doesn't matter who you are really. Your race, age, gender, religion, background: none of that can hinder who you are. In fact that may even add to your beauty. But you most surely cannot allow that to burden you. It's not about your physical beauty necessarily. It's much more than that too. It's ALL of your beauty. Because we all have some. It's time we find it.
Don't feel as if your age will prohibit you from feeling connected to this call to action. Adults are just as affected as young children are. I'm not asking for money or financial contributions. I'm asking that we together find a way to help others and ourselves by loving each other and not expecting anything in return. If we do this, slowly but surely, we can help everyone to find their inherent beauty. There's really no limits or borders to love and beauty. It's in all of us.
Needless to say, for most of my life I found the comparison between my sisters and myself to be rather disappointing. I was always the awkward, annoying, under-developed one. I sucked my thumb well past the acceptable age, I wet my bed far into my elementary school days, at age eleven my parents finally forced me to start going to public bathrooms on my own and ordering my own dinner at restaurants. My teeth were always crooked, my social life consumed my school work, and my talents were mediocre at best.
There was NOTHING exceptional about me. Or at least to me it seemed that way.
It's taken me eighteen long, vicious years to look in the mirror and recognize that I may not be my sisters, but that doesn't mean I'm less of a person because of that. I spent so much time failing at trying to be like them that I missed my transition into a young woman. I missed when awkward became beautiful. I missed the fact that even awkward was beautiful. I didn't realize that I had a drive to learn and succeed and that I could do well if I tried. My annoying personality has matured into a somewhat humorous one, and I greet everyone around me with at least a welcoming smile, if not than a wave or even a "Hi!".
That's quite a bit of wasted time and experiences I missed out on, but I am aware now that I am beautiful in my own unique way. Everyone has some of that. It's called inherent beauty.
I really truly wish with my whole heart that I was alone in this battle.
But unfortunately, I know otherwise.
In elementary school my best friend was African American. To be honest, I hardly even noticed her dark skin in comparison to my light pale skin. One day on the play ground, another girl got very angry with us and referred to my friend using the "N" word. At the time I had no idea what the word meant, I only knew that it was offensive from the way the tears welled up in my friend's eyes. Looking back on it now, I realize how much that impacted her, even at a young age. I couldn't imagine going through life being judged based on the color of my skin. It's like the color of your natural hair. You don't choose it at birth. Yet we can judge someone based on this?
Now as I am growing older I am meeting so many different types of people. I am aware of the differences in everyone, not because naturally I pick them out myself, but because anyone who is even slightly different is pointed out and condemned in our society. Even as we enter into adulthood I am aware of how another person's cruelty can affect those around me.
Seeing those that struggle due to the criticism based on their sexuality is incredibly frustrating to me. It's not a lifestyle that is chosen. In fact, I'm sure at some point many people who diverge from the heterosexual orientation have wished that they could choose to be "straight". Again, like hair color, you don't CHOOSE to be one way or the other. Yet others feel that they can judge them for that.
Gay, straight, queer, trans gender, WHATEVER THEY ARE, at least they know HOW to love. At least they can show compassion for others. At least they have passion. Love is love. There's no way at all to say one way is right and the other is wrong or even that one is better than the other. THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE. It is love no matter what way you look at it. And if you have so much blind hatred in your heart that you feel as if you have the right to judge someone for that, well I guess that's proof that maybe there's something cruel and unusual about you. Love is love.
These are the experiences in life that slowly but surely are killing me.
I am aware of how others are hurt by this. Other people who simply just choose to live happily are hated by other people for being different and in turn begin to hate themselves. There is no justice in that.
What makes these situations even worse is that this hatred that grows will never leave someone once it has found its way there. It will grow and pester that person, and eventually when they have younger siblings or children of their own, they will pass this self-hatred down to them. It's a cruel cycle.
Everyone has something uniquely their own that makes them incredible. We may not see it right away, but its important that we as people choose not to judge them negatively for their differences, but instead find their inherent beauty and build them up for that. When we are too focused on ostracizing someone for their differences, a hatred that could last a lifetime is created.
We need to stop self-loathing. It is time that we find our own inherent beauty and share it with those around us. We need to find a way to help each other to find the unique person they are. To love them for that. To love ourselves.
It doesn't matter who you are really. Your race, age, gender, religion, background: none of that can hinder who you are. In fact that may even add to your beauty. But you most surely cannot allow that to burden you. It's not about your physical beauty necessarily. It's much more than that too. It's ALL of your beauty. Because we all have some. It's time we find it.
Don't feel as if your age will prohibit you from feeling connected to this call to action. Adults are just as affected as young children are. I'm not asking for money or financial contributions. I'm asking that we together find a way to help others and ourselves by loving each other and not expecting anything in return. If we do this, slowly but surely, we can help everyone to find their inherent beauty. There's really no limits or borders to love and beauty. It's in all of us.
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